Advice Column

By Teddy Styles

1. I’ve been going out with a really sweet guy for a little more than a month now. The relationship is great, and he treats me well. But every time we go out, he insists on paying the bill. He says he’s simply being chivalrous and old-fashioned. My blockmates think he’s being condescending. How should I bring this up with him?
Before you approach your boyfriend, you’ll need to ask yourself some tough, but necessary, questions. First, who actually finds your boyfriend’s behavior condescending? Your roommates can share gender theory with you all they want, but you know him and you need to decide if they are correct. You can do this by asking the second tough question: what does he mean when he says “old-fashioned?” If old-fashioned means “before women were considered independent in thought and personhood,” then you have bigger problems than your Friday night dinners at Bertucci’s. If old-fashioned means that he shows affection by spending money on you, then you can accept his gesture with grace. Of course, if you feel so inclined, you can return the favor by surprising him with gifts every now and then, or ordering (and paying) for take-out when he has to study.

2. My roommate recently came out to me. I’m not homophobic, and I don’t have problems with gay people... but none of the other people that we’ve blocked with are gay. Should I tell them that my roommate’s gay, so that they know who they’re blocking with?
When I decided to block with the six people that I live with now, I did not “know” everything about them. Over time, I learned about them, their backgrounds, their beliefs, and their experiences. Among other things, I learned that one of my blockmates was gay. Getting to know your blockmates takes time and is a part of the college rooming experience. Your have no duty to tell your blockmates that your roommate is gay. Having said that, you should ask your roommate why he is hiding it from them. Why doesn’t he just tell them, or let you? Because if not now, then when? And if not at Harvard, then where?

3. I’m on a sports team here, and all the guys on the team are buds. We’re around each other a lot, practicing together and competing together. But I’d also like to get to know new people. How do I tell the guys that I want to go out with other people on Friday and Saturday nights?
I am not a varsity athlete, but I do have some friends who are. They don’t “tell” their teammates that they’re hanging out with other people. They just do it. If you’re worried about what will happen when they call you, just use my favorite trick. It never fails. You say, “Where are you going tonight? Really? Oh, I think I might go to the Quad.” Trust me; they won’t tag after you to the Quad.

4. This sounds stupid, but I’m that hapless dude in section who always looks like he just got out of bed. How do I clean up, without looking too metrosexual?
Well, first, let me say that admitting your problem is the first step to fixing it. You are right that there does seem to be some sort of etiquette when it comes to your appearance in smaller sections and tutorials; I actually noticed earlier this year in tutorial that I was the only person wearing t-shirts to class. Your fears of appearing “too metrosexual” may be largely unfounded. Just take a shower and put on dark jeans, a polo, and shoes.

5. Boxers or briefs?
This one is easy. Go to www.americanapparelstore.com. Choose the Sea-Foam Green.